Sunday, November 28, 2010
"How does she know you love her?" - Enchanted
Over thanksgiving break, a good friend of mine mentioned how it scared her to get married because of examples she'd seen in real life of couples that were great before they got married and then things changed after they were married. Instantly I thought of how God knows everything and won't let anything happen to us that we can't take and also His promise that all things happen for good to those who love Him (Romans 8) and said "Oh God won't let that happen..." or something to that effect.
But then, I thought about it and it kept bothering me in a way it never had before. Even if it's an arranged marriage, people put on their best when a proposal is considered, but what after that? If it's not an arranged marriage, then it's going to be pretty much the same thing. It's not like we get extra censors if we found a person who we think loves us and we love them. How do you know he truly loves you? I'm really looking for answers/wisdom/thoughts here, and I guess, a source for brainstorming - sort of, to kind of help me decide what my stand would be. Help me think.
I believe there's equal likelihood of changes revealed after marriage and the issue of not being real before getting married in case of an arranged as well as a love marriage. There are things that are hidden before marriage, that come out only after. How well do you get to know a person before you decide he's (or she's) the person you'd consider or would like to marry? I pretty much know the arranged marriage side of this because I've grown up around those answers all my life (that is to say, "well, you can't really get to know anyone enough, you know"? Which is true but I feel like that's an excuse to brush off discomfort out of not knowing what to say, it's not really an answer to the question. I really wanna know the other side though, married folks maybe?). Thoughts please... I don't mean to discourage you from commenting on this, no matter what they are and no matter who you are. I just wanted you all to know where I was coming from. So, if you do have thoughts, please let me know.... Thank you...