Thursday, September 6, 2007

Fall in love or choose to love?

Is there something such as falling in love? Take for example a guy who sees a real good looking girl and he immediately "falls in love" with her. Is that love? Wouldn't you rather call that lust? Okay, I consent to the fact that he might have had an attraction to her because of her good looks and gradually he might have gotten to know her better. After getting to know her if he still loves her even if she's the haughtiest and charcterless person he's ever seen alive, maaaybe you could say he loves her. But you know what? Love has the power to transform even that!! But more of that later...

I'm talking about that certain instant in your attraction for this significant person when you decide for yourself whether or not you love that person. Everything you do in your life, you are making a choice.
You want to call that person up and talk to him or her or NOT - its your choice. Is love so empowering that you can't live without talking to that person? Do those kinds of feelings come the first time you see or talk to that person? Of course not! That is simply ridiculous! Those are merely reactions formed out of habits performed as part of a routine - that is no sign of the real love.

One can never love a person without deciding to do so oneself.
Sure, you might have had a particular picture in mind of a special "somebody" who will come along the way and suddenly this particular person comes along and fits that picture almost perfectly - almost! But wait - is it really that way? Isn't it that wanting to be considered special by someone else that motivates you to go forward? Is it really the true realization of commitment to one another that makes you go forward? Or is it merely the thought of being considered important ie given special attention ie fleshly pleasure ie sin that motivates you? Never thought of it that way? Think again for yourself. Its the need to feel wanted and loved or to get attention - basically a matter of pride that makes you want that somebody to fill that space - isn't it?

Is that what you really call love? Or falling in love, if you want?

Let me explain what I think could be the case:
I'll start this way. There are certain standards by which you lead your everyday life - what you do and don't do are chosen by you - whether it be friends, food, clothes, choice of subjects, places you go, how you walk, what words you use, how you present yourself to others, how you think others think of you, and so on and on and on. When it comes to love, (and I'm not talking about mere attraction or infatuation; but the kind of love that makes you feel like you'll accept any part of that person's character as it is, no matter how much you don't like how he or she behaves), don't you think you are the one who gives in? Early in the stage we are the ones who choose whether or not we want to get ourselves in the whole thing, with or without realizing the consequences of it.

Look at "falling in love" literally - When you literally fall(not in love, just anytime you fall), you hurt yourself - you don't want to fall because you know the consequences. You don't choose to fall, as in, while you're walking, you don't say "Okay, I've been thinking about this for a long time now and I've decided that I want to fall down now" - and you fall. It's the same with love. You couldn't fall in love! If you fell, you surely regret that it ever happened - in that case was that truly love? Or just something stupid and silly or worse - lustful? None of us like to think that way - but this is us - you, me and everyone else. This is the way in which everybody , atleast most people think, unless one refuses to admit it.

That's why each of us needs a Savior from this lustful, sinful flesh so we don't have to ever regret doing wrong - that is if we ever thought of regretting doing something wrong. Even better - we have an inspiration for doing good (not a carefree attitude about doing wrong and still getting away with it) - ie Christ the Lord because when we think of how much He, the Creator King who "fearfully and wonderfully made" each and every one of us, gave up for the same each and every one of us, we can never return that same love after accepting it and live a life of ungratefulness by not living a life the way He wants us to.

Say, for example, you are a person who earns just about $8 per hour. One fine day, someone comes upto you and gives you a $50 bill for free what would you likely do with it? Maybe refuse at first?.... Maybe refuse a couple of times more... but what if the person persuades you to take it and that person seems sincere about it and promises to never ask you to repay it back to him? And he is gonna live upto that promise. Wouldn't you accept it? Gladly? After all, it's not everyday that you're offered a $50 bill for free, is it? Say you accepted it (truth has to be accepted atleast at times na? lol), what's your attitude gonna be like towards that person? Go and spend it on your friends and party right? Atleast do you think that's what you ought to do? No way, you'd take care of those $50 and make sure you use them well because you'd have to do just about a day's work to get that much otherwise, right?

Something like that can be likened to what the Lord Jesus is offering to you and to me and to everyone else in this world. Not just a day's benefit but an eternity's worth of benefit..... Is it worth the risk of letting go of it?

You may or may not find or intend to find the love of your life. But this is a decision you will have to make. If not today, then tomorrow. But by then do you know everything that's going to happen to you? It s ot scary if you just let your child-like faith take over. How does a son know his father will take care of him? He doesn't go around trying to test his dad's DNA to see if he really is his dad. He trusts him because his dad has told him so and he can see that his dad loves him from his very own health and well-being. Even if he falls down at times, it does not mean that his dad made him fall down. He knows that even if he falls down, his dad will lift him up and see that he's not hurt for the worse but for the better. The wise dad sees to it that his son learns something from that fall. That is exactly how our heavenly Father deals with us each day once we become His child.

Now you tell me what is love. Isn't love more of commitment, sacrifice, maturity, hardship and responsibility first? Sure it is caring, sweet talk and all the rest too but first comes the commitment. Only then can the full measure of that love be treasured. Else it is pure fantasy, or in other words, lust! That is why we have something called marriage because when you commit yourself to one person you are accepting the fact that neither of you is perfect and that each is going to "put up" with the other's good AND bad points.

Especially in today's world, since "love" is so projected and spoken of as a part and parcel of daily life through different means, like movies (which don't do a very good job of it) and books and several other means too, it is no longer falling in love, because you know where you're going when you get into a relationship - it doesn't JUST HAPPEN!

These are my thoughts. Other opinions are most welcome. I want to see how much I can unwrap of the wonders the Lord has kept in store for me.