Sunday, November 28, 2010
Over thanksgiving break, a good friend of mine mentioned how it scared her to get married because of examples she'd seen in real life of couples that were great before they got married and then things changed after they were married. Instantly I thought of how God knows everything and won't let anything happen to us that we can't take and also His promise that all things happen for good to those who love Him (Romans 8) and said "Oh God won't let that happen..." or something to that effect.
But then, I thought about it and it kept bothering me in a way it never had before. Even if it's an arranged marriage, people put on their best when a proposal is considered, but what after that? If it's not an arranged marriage, then it's going to be pretty much the same thing. It's not like we get extra censors if we found a person who we think loves us and we love them. How do you know he truly loves you? I'm really looking for answers/wisdom/thoughts here, and I guess, a source for brainstorming - sort of, to kind of help me decide what my stand would be. Help me think.
I believe there's equal likelihood of changes revealed after marriage and the issue of not being real before getting married in case of an arranged as well as a love marriage. There are things that are hidden before marriage, that come out only after. How well do you get to know a person before you decide he's (or she's) the person you'd consider or would like to marry? I pretty much know the arranged marriage side of this because I've grown up around those answers all my life (that is to say, "well, you can't really get to know anyone enough, you know"? Which is true but I feel like that's an excuse to brush off discomfort out of not knowing what to say, it's not really an answer to the question. I really wanna know the other side though, married folks maybe?). Thoughts please... I don't mean to discourage you from commenting on this, no matter what they are and no matter who you are. I just wanted you all to know where I was coming from. So, if you do have thoughts, please let me know.... Thank you...
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I was required to do this for my CDFR class called Childhood Psychology, this class is specifically for conception to age 6. This assignment was from the website www.keirsey.com, on which I took the KTS-II, the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. Anyhoo, this was the result I got. I'm an Idealist. I thought it was very close to who I am, but here's the explanation of how I'm an idealist.
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.
Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.
Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.
Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.
Idealists at Work
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. They are naturally drawn to working with people and are gifted with helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potential both on, and off, the job.
Your beliefs are the arbiter of your actions, even if you cannot articulate those beliefs specifically. You hold a strong, clear sense of the way the universe works, what's "right" and what's "wrong," and what your purpose is in the overall scheme of things. In your ideal job, you can embody those beliefs in your relationships with other people. Because you likely have a talent for de-escalating situations and can almost always find just the "right words", you often significantly improve the morale of organizations to which you belong.