Monday, August 30, 2010

I don't feel like putting a picture or a title specifically for this one

It's so good to see my close friends happy with the relationships that they're in. I was really very happy for them, but it wasn't long before the thoughts came automatically back to reflecting on myself. "Am I not good enough? What am I doing wrong? What do I need to do to be better (more marketable... I know that's a terrible way to put it, but I couldn't think of a better way haha)". Then again, what a selfish way to think, as in not being satisfied with where I am right now... Yet again, isn't this how God made me - to want someone to call my own? He's the one that said "It is not good for man to be alone" and that the woman's "desire will be for her husband"? How then can it be a bad thing to think about my future husband? I wonder, oh so many times, how long it will be before I can call that someone my own. It's true that God is the lover of my soul and I cannot tell you how thankful I am for that, but I also think it is true that God Himself put the longing for a man in my life, in my heart, long before I ever understood that longing myself. Granted that God put that desire there, there's nothing wrong with the desire to get married or wanting to have a special someone! Why then, in my culture, is it so wrong to think about the man I want to marry or put time into thinking about what kind of a man I'd like long before it's time to get married, when it isn't wrong to spend hours applying to universities or more than half a day studying? Just because I think about who I'd like to marry, it's not necessary that I'm lusting... Neither does it mean that I want to get married right NOW...

Should I spend time planning and thinking about every other aspect of my life except marriage until "God brings someone at the right time", just because I was raised Indian? Where does God play a role in my life when it comes to learning to deal with your own desires according to God's will and submitting to God rather than denying that they exist? Is God's plan only dependent on what our parents think? Should parents not talk about, think through, and discuss with their children what is the right way? Shouldn't parents be involved in their children's life instead of making decisions for them? In other words, shouldn't children be making decisions, but parents be there through the thinking process and be their friend and patient guide while children arrive at the decision themselves instead of being judged BEFORE or AFTER the children have made the decision. Parents are in this world to guide their children and help them become adults, not help them remain kids as long as the kids are in front of them. Parenting is a maturing process for both parents and children, which means, the rules and principles by which everything happens in the house needs to mature as the children mature, not stay the same whether the kid is 10, 20, 40, or 60. That's the difference between parents and care providers.

Parents should be the guides that no one else can be. I can tell just with typing out this much how hard parenting must be, but then what in this world isn't hard? We choose to sin and that's why it's hard to go through life. If we just gave it all to God instead of working at it all by ourselves and seeking His help only when we got in trouble, it probably wouldn't be so hard in the first place, because we'd know He's got it all under control and that His grace is sufficient for us. Anyhow, bottom line - I'd like to be the parent that God wants me to be, not to please my kids but to please God while loving my kids unconditionally.

8 comments:

febinr said...

Wow A good one..I don't know who you are...but was searching for some article on the internet, accidently found your blog. Just read through it, I just remembered how true it is!! Nice one can relate with my life experience too. Thumbs up!!!!

Beula said...

Thanks for commenting Febin! I'm glad someone agrees with me.

Dani_Gal said...

Should I spend time planning and thinking about every other aspect of my life except marriage until "God brings someone at the right time", just because I was raised Indian?

Wow this one is thought provoking alright! I may not know Indian culture, but i do not see why not. Obviously no-matter what you plan, God's plan is going to win. Maybe ppl saying "God will bring someone at the right time" are trying to tell you to stop thinking about such silly things OR they really do believe that God has someone picked out and is just preparing his heart for the right time (i think im just paraphrasing what you said...) ANYWAYS I personaly do not think it is bad to plan or at least dream about your future as long as you are satisfied where God has you now! Thats the key. Life can be so miserable if you are only looking at "what could be" or "what might come" and never at the "what is" especially when thinking about how God is working in your life. :)

Beula said...

Very true Dani. And thanks for the encouraging words.

Febin Rajan said...

Thanks Beula...I just saved ur blog link..lets me see if I get good blogs again :)

Beula said...

Haha Febin! Is the other febin you as well? Just wondering... And thanks! Btw, you can "follow" my blog, that way you get updates of my new posts when I put them up, instead of you having to check yourself. But that's completely upto you. =)

Febin Rajan said...

Yup it's me...let's see i don't like getting reminders. I will search articles myself. Take care

Beula said...

Cool beans!! =P Really appreciate your honest feedback though. =)