Living Christ is hard!!

It's really hard... Maybe the things I do, in the world's perspective is not a big deal, some of it may be a big deal too - but each time I do something wrong I just realize how sinful I am and the fact that no amount of good I did could make up for the sins I do every single day - big or small. I'm so glad I have His love!! Oh and hopefully someday I'll make a pledge to one other person who'll love the Lord as much as I do (or maybe better than I do) - coz I don't love Him enough. And he and I will live every day of our lives - not on our knees the whole day but living with Him as our perspective - so that when other people look at us, they won't look at us as hypocrites or "oh they belong to that denomination". Rather they should be able to say, "Oh, they must be Christians - that's the reason why they're such loving, gentle, sensible people - seems a lot like how a follower of Christ would be" - so that the credit goes to the Lord, not to me or my family because it was from Him through His Word, the Bible that I got to know how to be that way. I just choose to do what He says - as long as I'm aware. Even then, after that much, there's so much lacking in me - SO MUCH!! I still sin every single day, be it in the smallest way - I still do sin - sometimes knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly. Either way, it's still sin. I don't want to be the type who, when people look at me, feel I'm very religious and won't tolerate any kind of nonsense. I want to be the type that knows how to have good, clean, not just fun - but lots of fun while, doing it and a lot more for the Lord's glory. Today my chemistry final got over. It was my one and only cumulative this semester. It wasn't that big of a deal but while I was preparing for it, I felt somehow the Lord had something in it for me to learn. I can feel a lot of things changing in my life as I make this transition at this age. Maybe its because of my age but I feel a lot more mature. I make it sound very supernatural but that fact is there's a lot behind it... all of which it is impossible to describe.... Catch ya later!!! Jesus Reigns!